Archive for the Thoughts Category

Can I? Can’t I?

Posted in Feelings, Thoughts on July 8, 2012 by altins

Dear Sweet, Sweet Lord,

That new journey, should I take it or not?

It’s kinda scary, You know, with so many responsibilities.

Do I have enough skill to do it?

Do I have enough courage to do it?

Do I have enough endurance for it?

I… I’m still that little girl, Lord.

Crying and weeping when I do something wrong, instead of stand firmly and admit my mistake in a courageous way.

Worrier and nail biter when I concern about something.

You know, money is never my purpose in the first place, for I believe that You are the God who provides.

You know my grandpa believe in you, my parents too, and You promise that the descendants of people who have faith in You, You will never let them starving.

So, I too, have faith in You and Your promises.

But this kind of blessing, sweet Lord, is too big for both of my hands, feels too heavy for my shoulders.

You even know that my current zone is still not my comfort zone, I still feel like having a battlefield every time I wake up in the morning. A battlefield that thrills me, and excites me, and everyday is like a brand new story for me. Love it, that at least unlike Xena, I can dress up before going to the battlefield.

But, Dear Lord, are You challenging me now? Because You know, I never back down from a challenge.

But I’m still not ready to say “Bring it on.”

*take a deep breathe…

You do still remember my prayer in 2003, between the UI and Del. That if it took me closer to You than before, let me took the journey, but if it took me away from You, my sweet sweet Lord, might I run from it as far away as I could.

And here I am, not standing on my feet, but down on both my knees before You, my dearest Creator.

I propose to You, my sweet Jesus.

Please take this new journey with me. Hold both my hands in Your big big wounded hands.

For You the only one who deserves the honor.

Promise me, dear Jesus, that You will always be here with me. More than anyone, it’s You on my number 1 list.

Just like how it was and it is, I know You are there, watching me, guiding me, smile with me, laugh with me.

Thank you for being here with me, Thank you for carrying me in Your shoulder when I felt tired.

Thank you for accompanying me so far.

But in Your blueprint for my life, do you have lots of journeys for me?

As long as You are here guiding me through each step, I’m ready, Lord.

Let people see Your light through my life and how I act.

Teach me to count Your blessings, one by one by one.

And through it all, I’m super super glad, knowing that I’m Your bride.

See you later, My Groom.

Love you, J.

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Posted in Feelings, Thoughts on October 3, 2011 by altins

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Do I have the courage..?

Posted in Thoughts on September 15, 2011 by altins

Long “forced” holiday…7 days.

And suddenly the craziest idea that ever crossed my mind… 7 days of backpacking to the middle of nowhere.

Oh God… if this doesn’t according to Your Blueprint of my life, you surely will never allow such a crazy idea to cross my mind, right?

Dizzy…excitement…rush of adrenaline.

But…do I have the courage…?

Do I have what it takes to start this?

Ahhhhh…  I think I’m going crazy.

Aiyooo…otoke…!? Otoke, Mr.J? Should I go…shouldn’t I go?

As we grow older, it’s not the things we did that we often regret

but the things we didn’t do.

Another thing that crossed my mind…. I absolutely….don’t want to regret of the things I didn’t do.

Hey, Mr.J…. I’ll be counting on You more then. Love U, J.

Seoul, South Korea Agenda Dec2011/Jan2012

Posted in Thoughts, Travelling on May 24, 2011 by altins

1. Eat jajangmyun (order using delivery line)

2. Eat ddokbooki (spicy rice cakes on a stall on the street)

3. Taste soju (Won 1000 per bottle, just one, make sure you don’t get drunk, and you drink it with your girlfriends)

4. Taste makgeolli (Rice wine, drink it with the special makgeolli glass)

5. Go to Jejudooooo…perhaps snorkeling if it’s possible

6. Go to Seo Byun’s garden apartment.

7. Go to at least one of this shows (MusicBank, MusicCore or Inkigayo)

8. Taking a picture on Coffee Prince’s cafe down the MBC station

9. Don’t forget hanbok…one silk hanbok to go please…

10. Buy a lotere…

11. Since it’s winter…perhaps, ice skating (optional)

12. Visit the Goong (Gyeongbok Palace)

13. Don’t forget make an appointment and meet with Aarti Swain

14. Go to at least one musical in the theatre

15. Dohhh…Namsan Tower is a must! And also Namsan Cable Car..

16. Go to at least one museum.

17. Lotte World..(optional)

18. Namdaemun market…(hunting for a cap, tasting mandoo guk-dumpling soup and bindae duk-skillet-fried mung-bean pancake)

19. A sweater and a jacket @ itaewon.

20. An evening stroll down the Cheonggyecheon Stream

21. Register for Seoul Tour City Bus

22. HongDae……enjoy the indie music..yeah

23. Go to Pamunjom, the coupd’etat village between North Korea n South Korea. Take a picture with North Korea’s soldier…lol

24. Traditional Tea House, Yet Cha Jip, @ Insa-dong District

25. The cool fountain in front of City Hall Square (don’t forget to bring change clothes and towel)

26. How can I forget…..Spa and the 24 hours sauna, also the public bath house…lol

27. Perhaps get a temporary an ahjumma (definitely an optional)

Ps: Must remember to take a picture as evidence.

Planned Days : 9 Days

Planned Budget : 3000 SGD (2.6 million krw)

Target reached so far : 33%

Transportation Cost (SG-Seoul) : 1000 SGD.

Transportation Cost (Seoul-Jeju Do) : 300 SGD

Accomodation Cost (7 Days in Seoul) : 140,000 krw (7*20,000 krw @

Accomodation Cost (3 Days, 2 Nights in Jejudo) : 100 SGD (2*50 SGD @

Things that I must bring :

– Bible and my ODB

– 1 big towel, 1 small towel, handkerchieves

– 1 bed sheet, 1 pillow case, 1 bolster case

– 1 sarong, or small blanket

– thick jackets, scarf, socks, gloves, undies

– my minihp, and it’s adaptor

– my digicam, empty the memory, 2 pack of batteries, charger

– my polaroid and lots…lots of film packages

– 3 jeans, 1 skirt, 12 tshirts/shirts

– 1 flat boots, 1 sandal, 1 skeechers

– 1 bottle drink, medium size

– 2 tupperwares, mediumand large size

– Liquid soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion, moisturizer, lip gloss (all in small size)

Motto..motto : Love budgets, Saving comes first than spending, No expensive coffees on working days, No luxury dining on working days, Save…save… you can travel the world. Amen.

Has only just begun…

Posted in Thoughts on April 21, 2011 by altins

When people said, “You won’t be able to do it!”

When people said, “I doubt your skill!”

Then, it is the time, when I have to grit my teeth, cover my ears, and move forward.

I may get punched once or twice, I may bleeding, I may get hurt in the process, but I won’t back down.

Once I fall, I’ll get up. Twice I fall, still I’ll get up. Even if I fall for the millionth time, I will get up using my own two feet.

For I know, this is my battle. And no one is the victor, unless me.

And by the time, I finish this battle, I may face another battle, greater, harder, and deadlier battle.

Should I continue or should I bravely heed to the battlefield? Well, quitting is no longer an option.

Since a great warrior didn’t born in the easy war, they were born in the deadliest battle, armed with determination, and crowned with victory.

This is how far I’ve come, and must I go a thousand miles.

The journey isn’t over yet. As a matter of fact, it has only just begun.

For My Beloved Mom and Dad

Posted in Feelings, Thoughts on April 17, 2011 by altins

Almost midnight here, and I am terribly missing you, both.

Hoping and praying that you both are okay, and keep healthy as always.



For the past times when I was a little baby, how you both took care of me, I feel so grateful.

For the past times when I was a little girl, how you both taught me how to write and to read. And you, Dad, for giving the most honorable place, your lap, to this little girl. I am so thankful.

For the past times during my teenage years, how you both put up with my rebellion and hurtful words that came out of my mouth, but still, during the worst time in my life, you both were there and never turned your back on me, I, this wrench daughter of yours, sincerely want to say thank you.

During my second year in senior high school, how you cried, my Mom cried, because I got rank 17th, the lowest rank ever in my academic year. I did remember that I got mad at you, when the truth was I also felt so disappointed with myself, and wanted to say sorry to you, but I just had no courage to say it.

For the times when I was in college, and you both gave up your pleasure and put priority to my needs. Thank you for that.

And Mom, remember that afternoon, when you told me that you changed your mind about continuing your study and get bachelor degree, because you think about me and my brother and my sister. Because you think better use the money for our education. Remember that afternoon, Mom? Perhaps, you don’t remember. But I do, I do remember.

And Dad, remember that night, when you told us how hard it was for you to go to school. That even your own parents couldn’t afford your high school tuition money, and you must worked after school in a local market, so you would have money for your school fees. How hard it must be for you, right? And how you never let us to experience such hardships in our life, from kindergarten to college. Because you know how hard that kind of life, that’s why you worked so hard so we’ll live comfortable. My dad, my great and hard working dad.

I did remember your words for me when you were giving me Ayam na Ni Atur. That I must:

– Live my life orderly

– To be humble and don’t be arrogant

– To respect and appreciate everyone

I do remember that, and I live day by day following that words of yours.

And next year, next year… just watch me, Mom, Dad.

When I start my master programme…

Again, I will make you both proud of me.

Watch me, Mom, Dad.

Watch how I will, step by step, getting closer to that goal.

And you both will widely smile. That you both will proudly say to others, “That….”, point your finger at me, “That is our daughter.”

And Jesus too, proudly He will said,

“That she is, my bride…”

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Posted in Thoughts on April 11, 2011 by altins

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